Laughing or Crying?

A few days before Jeff graduated from middle school, an assembly was held during the day to acknowledge the students’ accomplishments.  Carianne and I attended.  We sat on the bleachers in the gymnasium, a few rows up; with me in front of her.  My camera was ready, and I was proud to share in Jeff's landmark day.

The band played festive music as each of the 8th grade classes orderly entered the hall, single file.  Parents and fans cheered when they spotted their children.  We sat on the edge of our seats, waiting for the first glimpse of Jeff.  Before I clearly saw him, there was a distraction of wild and cheering uproar  behind me.  My heart sank when I realized the way over-done craziness was for him.   I was so confused I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  I did not know these war cry sounding people, and I knew they didn't know me.

My first thoughts were,  “I wished I had volunteered more in middle school, so I could have prevented wild influences of people like this affecting his life!’  Now it was too late.  Who had he been hanging with, that assumed it was OK to get his attention in such an obnoxious way?  I built up courage and slowly turned around to face the group, fearful for what rowdies I might see.  Looking  over my shoulder, in their direction, I saw . . .  no one.  No group, not even a young high school student.  Empty bleachers; except for a few grandparents and . . . Carianne.

When I turned to her, her demeanor was calm and relaxed.  The sun was shining on her hair from the windows above and she seemed to be enjoying a carefree afternoon.  When I looked at her eyes, they told me nothing except contentment.  But I had to turn around a couple of times to study her in unbelief, before I put her name on the confusing clamor.  

I smile about it now.  It was a moment I'll never forget.  As serene as she seems, I'm secretly glad she knows how and when to pull off a gut wrenching display. . . . like being a one man fan club for her brother on a special day. . . .  or on a good roller coaster!

Happy Birthday, Carianne!  You are a beautiful daughter and mother, with more faith and hope that  cause those who love you to cheer wildly for all your dreams to come true!

I love you, dearly!
Mom