Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
"Whew!"
I teach piano to an elementary school girl. She comes every week with a positive attitude, usually with a story to tell about her week. She is kind and considerate, and wears a big smile. She is progressing, alright, but most weeks I sense her mind wandering. When a student doesn't look at the music when you're explaining something, that is a red flag.
The problem I have discovered, is not her. It is me. I'm not that much different from the norm. Everybody likes to be accepted, don't they? Being a teacher, it's nice to know your students think you're OK. There are a few positive signs however, like looking at the music, that are important when you're trying to learn a piece. But this girl's eyes, most weeks are not on the music. Two guesses where they are . . . .
Like an owl, her neck slowly turns her head towards me and then she stares.
I pretend to carry on without the distraction. But how do you ignore when you know someone is looking at you for whatever reason? And then my mind wanders. What is she looking at? Did I miss my lips again with my fast application of lipstick? Is there a hair, or heaven forbid something else in my nose? Do I have a comb over? Did I miss my top buttons? Is she comparing me to her great grandmother?
Yesterday it happened again. I lost her. She slowly turned her head to me, but this time she spoke.
"Mrs. Clawson . . . Do you wear contacts?"
As I looked back at her over my spectacles , I answered, "Nope."
Then she said. . . . ."Because your eyes are SO blue."
I politely thanked her and heaved a sigh of relief. How about that? I think I just got a compliment when I expected the worst. There's a lesson in there somewhere. . .
"Whew!"
The problem I have discovered, is not her. It is me. I'm not that much different from the norm. Everybody likes to be accepted, don't they? Being a teacher, it's nice to know your students think you're OK. There are a few positive signs however, like looking at the music, that are important when you're trying to learn a piece. But this girl's eyes, most weeks are not on the music. Two guesses where they are . . . .
Like an owl, her neck slowly turns her head towards me and then she stares.
I pretend to carry on without the distraction. But how do you ignore when you know someone is looking at you for whatever reason? And then my mind wanders. What is she looking at? Did I miss my lips again with my fast application of lipstick? Is there a hair, or heaven forbid something else in my nose? Do I have a comb over? Did I miss my top buttons? Is she comparing me to her great grandmother?
Yesterday it happened again. I lost her. She slowly turned her head to me, but this time she spoke.
"Mrs. Clawson . . . Do you wear contacts?"
As I looked back at her over my spectacles , I answered, "Nope."
Then she said. . . . ."Because your eyes are SO blue."
I politely thanked her and heaved a sigh of relief. How about that? I think I just got a compliment when I expected the worst. There's a lesson in there somewhere. . .
"Whew!"
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Leaving "Home"
Yesterday was my last day of officially serving at the Mesa AZ temple. Starting in September, I have spent MANY wonderful early mornings there. The women I am surrounded by are each such a light and have taught me so much. I have been trained, shadowed, and befriended by the cream of the crop. Being new, there is so much to learn. Each sister gave me knowledge, from hands on to my heart. I think of the things I have learned and put a mental picture of that sister and her instruction in my mind every time. Sweet, sweet knowledge.
I also experienced heaven on earth as I was privileged to study inside. When I started, many quiet places were pointed out. But from the first day, I found my favorite study place in the youth center, behind the wall that led to the little boys' white dressing room, on a tiny stool. It was most peaceful, among the graduating sizes of little boys' white Sunday attire. I could lean back against the shelf, with small white neckties hanging to my side, and think. If you thought there was a more peaceful place in the temple, it couldn't have compared to the sweetness there. At this point in my temple life, I'll miss that place the most.
Being back after Christmas, I have reflected so much on the Mesa temple experience. It's like we're moving away from our house that we've lived in forever. We have to pack so many memories and precious belongings. It's overwhelming, the life we've experienced there. Randy and I were sealed there, as well as Carianne and Rusty, Julianne and Brenden, Gregg and Rachael, and Jeff and Vita. I have easily reflected, as if it were yesterday, being with them on those important days as I have served in so many of the same sacred places inside. From our Grandparents, to our parents, to family sealings, and first times through for missions . . . That temple has been a safe haven. And like any moving experience, I wonder how I can possibly keep things the same.
At our 6:30 AM prayer meeting, the brothers and sisters all squeezed into the chapel to be together one last time, just like each prayer meeting held each of the days and shifts this week. Messages were thoughtful and profound. We sat in the front and as they ask those who were going to the new Gilbert temple to stand, I turned around and saw at least 2/3 of our group on their feet. They spoke about changes. Good changes. This, as hard as it is, is a good change. We will move on. The experiences I have had and the people I have met there will be forever imprinted in my heart. And the experiences I have in the future will only be more grand because of what I learned there. I'm anxious and nervous, both. Anxious, because I'm ready to continue serving, even though it will be in a new temple; and nervous, because I'm leaving my "home". I am excited to experience the wonders of how it will change my life. That's the great thing about faith, it's all good. But the Mesa Temple will always be my favorite, and I intend to return there with fondness . . . especially to that little boys' white dressing room.
.
I also experienced heaven on earth as I was privileged to study inside. When I started, many quiet places were pointed out. But from the first day, I found my favorite study place in the youth center, behind the wall that led to the little boys' white dressing room, on a tiny stool. It was most peaceful, among the graduating sizes of little boys' white Sunday attire. I could lean back against the shelf, with small white neckties hanging to my side, and think. If you thought there was a more peaceful place in the temple, it couldn't have compared to the sweetness there. At this point in my temple life, I'll miss that place the most.
Being back after Christmas, I have reflected so much on the Mesa temple experience. It's like we're moving away from our house that we've lived in forever. We have to pack so many memories and precious belongings. It's overwhelming, the life we've experienced there. Randy and I were sealed there, as well as Carianne and Rusty, Julianne and Brenden, Gregg and Rachael, and Jeff and Vita. I have easily reflected, as if it were yesterday, being with them on those important days as I have served in so many of the same sacred places inside. From our Grandparents, to our parents, to family sealings, and first times through for missions . . . That temple has been a safe haven. And like any moving experience, I wonder how I can possibly keep things the same.
At our 6:30 AM prayer meeting, the brothers and sisters all squeezed into the chapel to be together one last time, just like each prayer meeting held each of the days and shifts this week. Messages were thoughtful and profound. We sat in the front and as they ask those who were going to the new Gilbert temple to stand, I turned around and saw at least 2/3 of our group on their feet. They spoke about changes. Good changes. This, as hard as it is, is a good change. We will move on. The experiences I have had and the people I have met there will be forever imprinted in my heart. And the experiences I have in the future will only be more grand because of what I learned there. I'm anxious and nervous, both. Anxious, because I'm ready to continue serving, even though it will be in a new temple; and nervous, because I'm leaving my "home". I am excited to experience the wonders of how it will change my life. That's the great thing about faith, it's all good. But the Mesa Temple will always be my favorite, and I intend to return there with fondness . . . especially to that little boys' white dressing room.
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